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November 21, 2013
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Humpdays 26 by Soviet-Superwoman Humpdays 26 by Soviet-Superwoman

Artwork by: :iconhqadd:


Story by: :iconandrewr255: :iconsoviet-superwoman:


Written by: :iconsoviet-superwoman:


Prior: Humpdays 25 by andrewr255

Continued:Humpdays 27 by Soviet-Superwoman

"Ilsa Hauppman." General Tupelov said in a triumphant tone of voice.

It took Nikola a moment to register who that was, the realization slowly creeping into his expression making the General match it with one of complete smugness.

"The fascist terrorist leader? Have you gone completely mad?" Nikola exclaimed, raising his other hand up to steady the trembling pistol.

"Not mad, desperate!" Tupelov barked, "Desperate! Did you not just hear what I told you? We've tried to eliminate her for years now and had no success. Hauppman has actually driven this woman to her knees before, crippled her physically and emotionally. We came to her for assistance months ago, offered her whatever she desired in return for the destruction of  the Soviet Superwoman. At the time she had just gone through an internal conflict, an attempted coup...and she needed what we provided her with."

"She hasn't come any closer to killing Olga than you have you fool! You damned fool! She's a Nazi psychopath and a dangerous international criminal! How can you trust her at all?"

The General took an angry step forward, seemingly oblivious to the handgun pointed directly at his chest. "She and her Fourth Reich are nothing compared to us! After the Soviet Superwoman is dealt with and our plans are finally achieved, once we are back in control of the government it will be a relatively simple task to hunt her down and destroy her and her fascist allies. Our satellite will make sure of that. We are not as foolish as Stalin was shaking hands with Hitler, we know her for what she is, rest assured Nikola: A necessary evil."

"And what great victory has she provided you with exactly? I haven't seen hide nor hair of her or her organization involved in this. Her life-partner has been the one doing your work for you."

Tupelov opened his mouth to respond when one of the technicians interrupted, speaking directly to him. "Sir, it appears the Soviet Superwoman is down. She is currently lying on the deck of the refitted American carrier  Theodore Roosevelt, conducting operations in the English Channel. The American heroine took her out and is now heading directly towards the weapon."

"Good," Tupelov exclaimed, slapping his chubby hands together, "we can now test the full strength of our shield technonlogy. Put me in contact with the others so they can witness this field test first-hand from their location."

The technician nodded and made a few adjustments. A series of coordinates flashed over the screen as the link was routed through several different locations around the globe. Nikola did his best to memorize the last set of numbers just before it connected with it's intended computer.

"Connection established. They should be seeing all the same video and technical data we'll be receiving."

"Good," Tupelov replied before turning his full attention back towards Nikola. "Now the question becomes what we do with you and your ridiculous attempt to threaten us here.."


Walkiria was listening to O.D.I.N. the entire time she made her way upwards, flying at full speed towards the location of the satellite.

"Something is wrong Maia. Your mental energies that correspond to human adrenaline and noradrenaline levels are off the chart as is your catecholamine equivalent. Neurotransmitter and what should be hormone activity in your brain is erratic. Your overall energy levels are erratic and elevated as well."

"None of which could be attributed to the fact I just was just in the middle of a knock-down, drag-out with Olga for quite awhile huh?" Maia growled at the computerized voice. She had assumed he was scanning her the entire time through micro-sensor technology built into her visor. Outside of  Huginn or Muninn it was his only way of monitoring the situation and she had yet to see either of the two robotic avians this entire time. Didn't mean they weren't there however, collecting data for him on the edge of the conflict.

"I took that into account Maia and everything is far too wrong. I also took the liberty of running the same analysis of your wife and her brain functions and body chemistry are almost identical. Her neocortex, hypothalamus and limbic system function is nowhere near normal. Those corresponding energy processes in your mind are similarly effected. I suggest that you please stop, completely power down and both you and Olga need to see someone for medical attention immediately."

Maia snorted, "AFTER I take down this Russian space weapon O.D.I.N. Then I want you to intercept any Russian transmissions and unscramble them for me. Heads are going to roll for this. Dirty, lying Russian heads."

"You are not listening to me. I think this heightened state of emotion, this incredible anger and rage you and Olga are feeling is somehow linked to this situation in your brain chemistry. You could be wrong about this satellite Maia."

"I'm not and unless you want me to fucking disconnect you again I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself. I'm not wrong about it, Olga was and she forced me to knock her the fuck out over it. These goddamned Russians forced this fight. They didn't taste enough of losing during Afghanistan or Chechnya apparently." Walkiria snarled.

As Maia broke through the upper atmosphere into the cold, darkness of space she gasped as she saw the satellite. completely unfurled, it didn't resemble any kind of technology to be found on earth. It looked harsh and alien and seeing it strengthened her resolve that she had been correct the entire time. With both hands out in front glowing in a crackling, violet aura, she launched herself at the object she knew in her heart to be a dangerous weapon, like the one Ultrawoman had tried to "terraform" Earth with. O.D.I.N. was trying to tell her something again, but she wasn't hearing it. All she knew or cared about in that moment was bringing down that satellite and then tossing it into Red Square. As she came within meters of impact, she braced herself...

At the moment when she should have been smashing her way through steel like it was aluminum foil and she suddenly and confusingly found herself passing through empty space. Her head whipped around to look behind her, her mane of red hair floating in orbit all around it. The satellite was somehow behind her, like she had missed it. Dumbstruck and furious, Walkiria's nostrils flared as she jetted towards the satellite a second time leaving an angry, violet streak of energy in her wake. The results were the same. Seconds before she was to impact with the weapon, it seemed to somehow move out of her path. Maia turned again to face her adversary, this time unleashing a barrage of energy blasts in it's direction. The satellite seemed to shift and shimmer in space, with her blasts passingly harmlessly through it. It looked very similar to how Neo had moved in those Matrix movies she had seen.

"I was trying to tell you!" O.D.I.N. wailed in her ear, "The satellite appears to be protected by some kind of temporal shielding. It allows the satellite to temporarily jump ahead a second or two in time when anything attempts to make contact with it."

Walkiria dropped back down into the atmosphere so she could communicate with her digital companion. The shock and anger in her voice caused it to tremble in pitch. "What are you fucking telling me? That there's no way to hurt it? How did the fucking backwards Russians develop something like that?"

"I highly doubt it's Russian technology, but I would need to run a battery of scans. I can tell you however that it is powering up for something and whatever it is, it's going to be massive. I believe your assertion that it is indeed a weapon is accurate."

"No shit."

"There may be a slim chance to defeat it's shielding, if my calculations are correct...but..."

"But what?" Maia yelled impatiently.

"It would require assistance from your wife and her super-speed. She's coming to on the carrier deck even as we speak, but I urge you to remain calm and be cautious. Whatever is affecting you is also affecting her and it is making you both highly erratic and emotionally unstable."

"You explain it to her then." Maia said coldly as she made her way back down towards the English Channel.

"She still has my communications switched off. It's going to be up to you."

Maia cursed under her breath as she descended downwards. She knew she was right and even an idiot like Olga had to see that now. She just had to fly her up there to see for herself and then everything...

The red lasers slammed into her headlong as she made her way down, temporarily blinding her and snapping her head backwards. Maia careened into the deck of the carrier, bounced once and came to a stop face down a few feet from one of the parked aircraft. As she drew herself up onto her side painfully, Olga was hovering in the air nearby. Maia had seen her like this before, but never directed at her. The Soviet Superwoman's eyes were blazing like smoldering embers, her hands were clenching and unclenching into fists as she positively shook with fury. Her facial features were twisted into a mask of sheer rage.

"Hello my 'Возлюбленная'." she said in a voice colder than the blackness of space.

To be continued...


Soviet Superwoman, Ilsa Hauppman, Nikola Myshkin and General Tupelov are my creations and property.

Walkiria and O.D.I.N. are the property and creations of my partner :iconteri-minx:

This takes place in the :iconangel-fallsda: universe of stories.
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THOR16000 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
nice artwork!
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013

I believe I’ve mentioned once or thirty times how unpredictable your writing is in the past, haven’t I? ;)

Soviet-Superwoman Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013
I don't recall that at all...


Feredrone Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hm, well maybe I'm just not as familiar with the various storylines that have run through Angel Falls, but I actually don't think the General trying to use the Fourth Reich the way he is is quite as stupid as people seem to think. At least, not from the perspective of someone "in universe" who isn't aware that their lives are subject to narrative causality.

Correct me if I am wrong, but so far Illsa has proven to be more of a super-powered terrorist and criminal rather than a clear threat to the world. I know has done a few things outside of Angel Falls, but the bulk of her activities people would actually know about remain there, and while the Iron Chancellor did attempt to nuke the cntire city that was secretly foiled by the Soviet Valkyrie so no one would know about that anyway. I think?

Plus even if she did manage to take over something, anything, I would like to think the Fourth Reich would be dogpiled by the rest of the world. I realize some ridiculous things happen in comics, but I would like to think that if Doctor Doom was a literal Nazi and ran Latveria accordingly people would be a lot less inclined to just let him keep it and wait for his latest Evil Plan (TM) to take over the world.

So, yes, they are playing with fire but it does look like a fire that can't seriously stop them. Perhaps kills hundreds, thousands, or even millions trying, but not actually stop them. At least until the Iron Chancellor gets serious or the Fourth Reich stumbles across something that will allow them to take over the world for real this time, but the General doesn't know about the former and the latter would rely on him realizing he is in a super hero story =P
Soviet-Superwoman Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
You make a lot of well-thought out observations. In fact, the title I have most people give Ilsa is "terrorist" rather than "super-criminal dedicated to world domination". No nation or power around the globe sees her or her organization as that powerful. To the CIA, The Fourth Reich is probably much more like Al-Qaeda without as much world-wide reach. No one knows Iron Chancellor tried to nuke AF since as you pointed out, Soviet Valkyrie stopped it before it happened. To this group of conspirators, Ilsa seems like a very manageable threat. They pointed the Warlord at SSW and he never caught wise, they used the giant Koschei and he never realized the scope of those controlling him so these individuals don't see how Ilsa can honestly do them any lasting damage. what they do see however is a Soviet Superwoman who could wreck all their plans if she realized what would happen to her homeland when they took control and for them that outweighs any threat an old Nazi with a small army could do.
jeandulin Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014
Forgive this stupid question, but ssw and soviet Walkyrie are two different names for the same woman, Olga, or two different Soviet superwomen? 
I ask also your permission to put in angelfalls my own old idea of a neonazi faction i invented long ago for my stories: Neue Germania, commanded by Hans Kammer and maria Orsik, who used haunebu machine and some uboots to flee from their reich, originally (in my universe, before i readen your stories with ilsa) they went to neuschwabenland, antarctica, and after highjump opération, went to the moon, but i imagined them in a submarine base if you allow me to do; they are creating some dieselpunk stuff to invade world...... Maybe them and your 4th Reich can be allies, or, on the contrary, two ennemies?
Feredrone Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Agreed on all points, particularly in regards to Ilsa being more of a terrorist than super villain in the traditional sense of the word. In fact, I'd argue that at least on paper she and the Fourth Reich might not even register something much more significant than "ordinary" terrorists as far as the Angel Falls universe is concerned. While Angel Falls may be the nexus of all things super on Earth, somehow I really doubt it is actually the only place on the planet with that kind of technology, biological enhancements, or mutations empowering people in such a way. And if it isn't that difficult for any reasonably well-off thug to pay to get super powers (albeit ones that are probably low-key), then I imagine a dedicated terrorist organization would be able to do somewhat better than that.

Like you said, to them Ilsa really is just a fanatic with slightly better access to super-serum than your average psychotic whereas the Soviet Superwoman actually has admirers and certain amount of political pull as far as Russia is concerned. I doubt anyone would be happy if a military coup declared it was time to go back to the good old days of Soviet Russia, but if the freaking Soviet Superwoman is publicly denouncing how awful this is then...well, it's possible that by that point her getting physically involved would almost be more of a symbolic gesture that also saves a few extra lives during the curbstomp that would follow.

Anyway, sorry for rambling and more or less repeating a lot of what you just said. I am glad that at least the first wall of text I wrote was not a waste of your time and space :D
Soviet-Superwoman Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
Not rambling at all, I always appreciate the input and discussion. :D
VKrull Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2013
You don't quell it. This one has to play out. If I was Ilsa, take control of the satellite and just start blasting. Considering the power that thing probably has...I'd say at least either Olga or Maia will more than likely die. Especially if they are beating the hell out of each other.
Paudraic Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I 'd hate to be the cop trying to quell this domestic disturbance.
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